Nothing 4 Nothing

I did half of what I was so worried about doing today...and feel half better now.
Went to the post office this morning and the line was long. I don't know why I get nervous in lines, but by the time I got to the counter my hands were shaking. The clerk gave me a funny look and that made me feel like I was some sort of a misfit. It made me really feel like I can't do anything right. I don't want to be nervous and act this way but some things a person just can't help. No one understands how difficult it is to be me!!
Anyhow, I read about the eclispe and how some people reacted to it...in this day and age still scared of the moon. Thankfully I'm not afraid of the moon...yet...so bring it on!!
A friend was afraid of the moon as a child because he thought it was always following him around...and didn't know why.
Can anyone tell me about zoomorhic calligraphy or email a script to me? Thanks. Till we meet again....ciao.

BORING!!! Yep, another boring day in the old west!! So, what else is new? The Jehovah Witnesses knocked on my door again, they don't take "no" for an answer...guess that is their "penance" in life. Later some kid tried to sell me candy...I had to say "no" to him also.
I've felt weird all day....weirder then usual. I just wish I knew why. The way my head feels at times it wouldn't make sense for me to pay money to get high!! I can feel that way for free. lol
The sun was out today, guess that is a good thing. I was looking at Yahoo images and found some very lovely portraits...it was like a computerized trip to the art gallery...fun.
Yes, I am easily entertained!! Did a puzzle on JigZone yesterday and it took me over 40 minutes...dude, am I slow or what? But today my time improved to 14 minutes...of course it was a much easier puzzle. It is dinner time....that will give me something to do.
I need to make some important decisions this week and dread it.....

I don't want to grow old before I have a chance to grow up....does that make sense to you? Growing old is a function of time, we will all have to grow old eventually or face the alternative.
But old people have a bad image in America, not one wants to admit that old people exist...because in so doing they will see themselves in a few years. Many of the commercials on tv are for making yourself look younger, wrinkle creams, pep pills, energy drinks, viagra etc.
If your hip aches get a new one same goes for the knee...have a face life while you're at it, dye your hair, don't show any gray hairs...dress like Britney Spears when you are 60, maybe people won't guess your real age. It is a vicious circle. You can do old these things to the outside of your body, be all bright and shiny like a new car, but inside you still have an old motor that can't race down the freeway. What I'm trying to get at is that everyone should just accept their age and do the best they can. Don't try to act younger or older, just be yourself at the age granted to you. And please do not look down at the older generation, if you listen to them you will learn, after all they have been there and done that already. What brought this topic on? Would you believe the passing of Buck Owens? ... Good bye Buck....

Another trip down the highway to visit Uncle L, had Philly steak and cheese sandwiches for lunch...yummy. Stopped to see a couple of houses that were for sale.
The sun was out today and warm...near 75 degrees I'd guess. When I got home I pulled some weeds...there must me a trillion weeds that I need to get rid of....any volunteers?
LOST was good last night...will Sayid and Ana Lucia get together? I hope not, he deserves better. Who is the real father of Sun's baby? I think it is one of the "Others" Locke is starting to get on my nerves. I wonder what made Charlie so happy early in the morning? It wasn't the mangos he was carrying. lol Next weeks previews look exciting. I read on Moby's blog...ehh I mean his journal...that he is watching LOST now....it's about time Mo!! lol
I put off doing something I must do until Monday or Tuesday. Just thinking about what I have to do makes my stomach hurt. I am such a worry-wart. Put off until tomorrow what you can do today...that's my motto.

I've spent a good deal of time today thinking about life. How the presence of some people are invaluable to me, how others I can do without. How much strength and support I receive from a few...how others just take and take and when I have no more to give them they vanish from my life. How some people have good souls, wise souls and a right state of mind, how others are just plain mean. How three simple words 'I love you" with emotion are always the hardest to say. Some people say I love you what seems like in every sentence, to them it is like telling you to have a nice day, but others say it with their heart...you instantly know the difference. Words with out action are meaningless. I was thinking how much I value truth, that lying to protect me or yourself is never the right thing to do. I was thinking that all my worrying about things won't change anything, not the future or the past. I must make the first step no matter how hard that may me...and that is so difficult to do.

I'm feeling tired...I've been on the Ellis Island website far too long, looking for lost ancestors.
I was thinking how wild it must had been on the immigrant ships with a majority of the passengers being in their 20's and single, every night must had been party night. No wonder they all wanted to flee to America...and get away from parents and rules in the old country. They all had such strong beliefs that this was the land of milk and honey where streets were paved with gold....what a rude awakening it must had been when they docked. On the ship manifest passengers had to list who they were going to visit/stay with, one of my relatives said "nobody"....so that runs in the family. One of my favorite answers to a question...."who are you talking to on the phone for so long?'...Nobody. My other favorite is nothing..."what are you doing?'...Nothing. Also on the manifest are such occupations as blacksmith....how many blacksmiths do you know, and countryman...what exactly does a country man do? And I laugh when some women list their occupation as...wife....that is a full time job. Another ancestor listed his occupation as "well off"...those were the days my friend.
The storm excepted for today never arrived...now "they" say maybe it will come tomorrow...but nothing like the hell of a hail we received Tuesday....drats, I was looking forward to more excitement.

R, O and L were here for lunch...R had some genealogy stuff and I looked it over, didn't discover any new limbs on the family tree. First my visitors complained the house was too hot, I put the furnace higher because they always complain I keep the house to cold, then I lowered the temperature and they complained it was too cold...Sometimes you just can't win. The weather in central California was wild...thunder, lightening, tornado warning and watches and hail that covered the ground for miles. The hail looked like snow and the highways like a scene out of Fargo. All we got was a little bit of rain... Last night I had a strange dream about Arlo Guthrie, he was at a school giving a lecture, I was there with R, R was putting things away in a closet and Arlo walked up to R and said to do that another time, as I sat listening to him chat I closed my eyes, and he said didn't you get to bed early enough last night...and I said I was listening with my eyes closed. After the lecture I looked for R but R took off without me, so I walked down some streets looking for my car and couldn't find it. 2 men and a woman helped me search...and while walking with them I said, oh I forgot, I didn't drive my car here. So they said they'd drive me home, but their only transportation was a horse and buggy. I asked how long will it take for me to get home and they said about a half a day. I said that's not bad and went with them. In the next scene I was home and we were all sitting on lounge chairs in my driveway drinking..lol
Wild weather, wild dreams, wild woman....go figure??? lol

Last night I had a dream and I want to write it here just in case I am a new Sylvia Browne.
I was touring a post office, don't know the location, the tour group entered a sorting room and then a lunch room, 2 or 3 male postal workers were eating lunch, I glanced up at the clock and it was 3:15PM, I thought this must be the night crew having their lunch, the tour group then went outside to the parking lot, a single engine plane was headed toward the building we were just inside of and exploded before hitting the building! Is this a nightmare or a prediction or to much Art Bell? lol This dream was weird because I thought the time on the clock was so important.
Trying to stop my computer from disconnecting so often, I have come to believe it may be caused by old phone lines...or that I'm still using dial-up. Wish I knew what to do.
Anyway, no more freaky snow here that I know about...rats!!! I'm still feeling very depressed and useless....and it is hard to even motivate myself even to get up in the morning. But I had to rise and shine this morning, Jehovah Witness knocked on my door, then my neighbor and then a kid selling candies...all before 10AM.

"They" meaning the weather forecasters are saying we'll get thunder and lightening today. I'm not holding my breath, "they" have said this at least 3 times this month and...nothing!!
"They" also said it may snow on the Golden Gate Bridge tomorrow morning??? Yeah, right...
what drugs are these people on? lol lol
Watched Idol last night...Bucky his twin Rocky, Ace...wasn't there a guy named Swag on the show? And, don't forget Bo... doesn't anyone have a real name anymore? lol Ace is adorable... he can sing...he can be anything he wants to be, he has that one in a million looks and personality. Looks without personality is nothing.
I've been feeding bread crumbs to a flock of sparrows....they are cute little birds...I love the robins when they come to the yard and the red holly berries are ripe. They'll eat those berries until they are in a stuper...drunk as a skunk, walking instead of flying, when they manage to fly they can't do it in a straight line they wobble. It is so funny to watch them. They don't treat me to their drunken antics every year. I had a somber thought I wonder if the bird flu will soon kill us all? What we hear on the news is it truth or hype? Question everything you read or hear......or close your eyes and maybe it will go away.

Took another little trip to visit Uncle L...his backyard fence was blown down by the recent storms, his homeowners insurance sent him a check for $13.00. He said that money would not even buy a bag of nails. B was there and tried to teach R and me to crochet. Some people have 2 left feet but I think I have to left hands. I can't do it the right way no matter how hard I tried.
Shopped at Big Lots and ate at Taco Bell...it was a good day.
No rain in sight but there are a lot of puffy white clouds...rain is due in late tonight.
I watched the Andrea Boccelli concert from Las Vegas on PBS....that man can really sing....his voice makes me smile.
Happy Birthday KG and many more!!! "You know you are getting old when the candles cost more then the cake" ha ha ha ( this was well said by Bob Hope)

Two things have kept me from blogging, first searching for friends on www.myspace.com it just never occurred to me to do that before...and second www.jigZone.com and the dang daily puzzles, it is very addictive.
Good bye "Edgar" he was killed off last night on "24"...his demise caught me by surprise, I never saw it coming. I had a terrible nightmare last night about nerve gas and hiding in tunnels...do I actually need this so called entertainment provided by "24"? I read a lot about nerve gas but seeing what it would actually be like,even if it was a tv drama show, was a eye opener...hope that never happens anywhere on this earth.
It rained very hard this morning, our street flooded as it always does...you can row a boat from corner to corner, but eventually the water went down and now one can walk across the street.
I was reading about the Islamic and Christian versions of heaven/Janna, much of it is very much alike, the rivers of milk and honey, no sadness or sorry...but in the Islamic heaven there will be love relationships and in the Christian... sad but true that part of love will only be a memory.
I love learning new things about people and countries and religions. Please feel free to add your comments.
Well, the rain cometh again and I hear thunder...or is it my neighbor's Harley??? Anyhow, I'll close...

I mailed K's birthday package today, the size of a shoe box, I would guess it weighed about 5 lbs I sent it by parcel post: cost $11.85. I couldn't believe the price for mailing it. Outrageous!
The shipping nearly cost more then the contents.
Went grocery shopping afterwards and met and talked to my neighbor in the store. Later went to visit Uncle L and toured a historical museum....I saw a lot of old things!! lol Lots of rusty farm equipment...I loved the old wringer washers and hot irons, and old photographs.
Today was a pretty day, the sun was out, the sky blue with white puffy clouds scattered about.
almond orchards have lost most of their blooms already.
I want to thank D for his kind words...I felt very down yesterday and D's words made me feel better, D didn't have the slightest idea how I felt when he wrote them. I believe God places people in our lives for a purpose...I know that is true about D....