Nothing 4 Nothing

I finally left the house and went to the grocery store...whoopee!!! Bought the usual staples...nothing exciting. Walked over to Big Lots and got some more "feathery" yarn to knit a scarf for A. The past few days I have been so damn depressed... can't sleep, waking up in the middle of the night...it is bad when I need to give myself a peop talk to get out of bed in the morning. I just hope I start feeling better soon, a lot of people are worst off...but when you're depressed it is difficult to think about other people...maybe I'm selfish? There is so much people don't know and will never know about me, wish I could open up but I can't...what I could say about some things in my past and about what I see for the future are too painful, so I keep all the pain inside of me...and this is how I end up...depressed...wishing I could end it all, yet afraid to do so...don't worry I won't try anything stupid.

Anyhow...the sun is out right now and guess I need to fix something for dinner. I will try to think the glass is half full instead of half empty...I will put a smile on my face (even if it's a forced smile) and move on...maybe things will seem better in the morning....and maybe not!!??

People tell me God has our lives planned...God really must have a sense of humor...