Nothing 4 Nothing

Has anyone noticed the graffiti art on box cars? Some of the work is amazing. I took this picture not so long ago of a Santa Fe box car in the San Joaquin Valley of California. The photo does not do the work justice...and this represents just a small fraction of what I have seen as I waited by the rail road tracks for the train to pass. This art work may have been done by someone who calls himself "Aoo"....Who is he? When and where does he create his works? In the dead of night using a flashlight and a spray can? In broad daylight risking being caught and sent off to jail for commiting a crime? Is he a professional artist? Is he a tagger? All I can say "Bravo, Aoo"....
One day you will be painting a masterpiece!!!

I've been busy today discussing last nights episode of LOST....many twists and turns and more questions without answers. I heard Regis say today (stop laughing, I do not watch his morning tv show, I was channel surfing) that we all should walk 2000 steps a day for exercise. I tried to count my steps but lost track around 608...I will give it a few more tries. The tree limb still sits at the curb, better there then in my yard. It was very hot here today 96, feels more like July then the end of September. Watched Survivor tonight, it is ok, but I do not have a favorite yet..no one really stands out in the crowd. I keep hearing the new INXS song on the radio with JD as front man, and I still fume. I am such a sore loser....every time I like some reality person on a tv show, they do not win, maybe I am a jinx? I should root for the person I don't want to see win? I will bring this borning blog to a close...it is nearly tomorrow already.

Went to the bank this morning, and then when the temperature reached 91 degrees I cut some bushes in yard and my neighbors palm leaves that were dead as a door nail and hanging on my Japanese Bamboo bushes! His tree is not the tall Florida variety, but looks more like picture, but bigger, taller and more uglier...lol The leaves are thick and hard and have little thorns on the edges so I get scratched a lot! Wish he'd take care of his own tree...lol I found a website today www.despair.com it is not what it sounds like, it is a company that sells posters, mugs, calendars etc. that are contrast to all the motivation posters with eagles and dolphins you see everywhere, what they have is really funny. Click on "view all designs" and you will see what I am talking about. My favorites are: Mistakes...> It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others...Persistence...>It's over, man. Let her go.... Strife...>As long as we have each other we'll never run out of problems.
Two men I think LDS just rang my doorbell, I pretended I wasn't home. I always feel bad doing that, but I rather not answer the door then to just turn them away and I don't feel like debating the bible or hearing that the world is about to end. But it always makes me feel as if I am closing the door to the word of God...and I am not, it is just to the LDS and the Jehovah people. Weather has warmed up considerably it is around 91 degrees feels more like end of July then the end of September. Guess that is all...will watch LOST, 2 episodes tonight...Woo hoo!!!

I really felt down and out when I woke up this morning...so I went to visit Uncle L today but he was not home, I stopped at Burger King and returned home. Watched an excellent documentary on PBS about Bob Dylan, and I could actually understand him, he didn't mumble when he talked. He has written and sung some fantastic songs. I've Been playing phone tag with C all day. The tree limb still sits by the curb, better there then in my yard. Today I noticed when the incredible crew of 7 dragged the limb out of the yard they damaged my wood boarders and squished my yellow daisy bush...grrrrr...you get nothing 4 nothing...lol I will move on now...

I happened to be home this morning around 10AM when the "City" crew arrived to saw away at the 10 foot limb that broke off the ash tree on Friday and was left dangling. 7 men came out of a crew cab pickup truck, all with their mandatory hard hats and bright yellow jackets. They all studied and discussed the limb for awhile then 2 men cut it down while 5 watched in utter amazement, 2 others deposited the limb in the street by the curb as the other 5 men watched in approval, there it sits for another crew to take it away. One guy's only job was to drive the truck, one guy swept up the mess...that left 1 guy whose gig is apparently to do nothing. I really want his job...I am so good ar doing nothing.
Weather became stormy about 6 PM, it knocked one local tv station off the air, it is still off.
I felt not lonely but total aloneness today even an unexpected online chat with DQ didn't make me feel any better, maybe it has something to do with the weather? I can hope for better days ahead. Finished my letter to DL and got it snail mailed...guess that is all for now. (The tree pictured is a Ash, not my Ash, but my Ash looks identical to it..lol)

Where do ideas come from? I was comfortably watching the 49'er game on tv in the family room, when out of nowhere this idea came to my head. So I went out in the front yard equipped with a rake, step stool , regular pruner, and 10 foot pole-like thingy called a ratcheting pruner that has attached to the top a saw blade and rope operated pruner, when you pull down on the cord it cuts off the branch. So...I found this pine tree branch that hangs over the roof of my house, it has been annoying me for a year, but today as I watched the football game I decided it was time to cut it off. I got the offending branch in the pruner pulled down on the cord...and...the wooden pole broke in half! Leaving half dangling attached to the tree about 10 feet above me and half hitting the ground with force. Now I needed to pull the part stuck to the tree down, so I yanked on the cord, 5 feet of pole came flying down, saw first and missed me by an inch!! That was a dumb move... so now I am determine to cut of that blasted branch, I got on the step stool with my rake, raked the branch and pulled it closer to me, I grabbed it with both hands...but now with both hands on the pine branch, how was I suppose to cut it? This was definetley a 2 person job. Therefore I let one hand go, and got the regular pruner with my free hand, and managed to loop it around the branch one handed, not an easy fete...and when it was semi secured around the branch I got my other hand off the rake handle and cut the #@#!branch off! Little pine cones, pine needles and all sorts of dusty junky tree stuff fell all over me and my eyes. In case the neighbors were looking, I cut off 2 or 3 more branches, low ones this time before returning to the football game. Where at the end the 49'ers did not have a good day either, losing in the last minute of play by 2 points...

Excitement of a sort...a huge branch about 10 feet long broke half way off the Ash tree in front of the house. The "City" planted it and maintain it, so I called and they said someone will come out on Monday to chop it up and take it away. Yeah, right...I will believe a "City" worker will be here when I see him. I do not trust what anyone tells me anymore, and I hate that about myself. Guess I've been fooled once to often. I am so used to being lied to that I can't recognize the truth. Received a much overdue email from A ...he did not enjoy his vacation in England nor the British...heck, the British seem so nice in the movies, and the Beatles and Stones seem cool....guess they ain't so? Nothing happening around here, temperature is sunny and breezy... No one has called in a couple of days... maybe they all fell off the planet? I hate it when I'm someone's 'friend" when they have nothing better to do and the following days they could care less. I wish they knew how much their words and actions hurt. I wish I could figure people out. I wish I was a fly on their wall and know everything people do and say. I wish I was a remote viewer. Remote viewing is a clairvoyance process where you can view any person or target in the past, present or future. It was used by the CIA for over 20 years...for more info google it. Remote Viewing would be awesome...maybe I'd view this weeks winning lottery numbers? And while I am wishing...I still wish Marty Casey won on INXS...yes...I am still not over that yet!!

Pictured to the left are the white 'carpet of snow' Alyssum that line the sidewalk in front of my house, the tiny flowers are very fragrant and the color is brilliant white, I swear they glow in the dark. The flowers reseed themselves every year, mine get the full sun all day and seem to thrive.
Went to the old grocery store this morning, I almost but didn't buy a supply of Halloween candies. That is definitely not my favorite holiday. Saw a weird ad for Bank of America,
it said "Did Tyrannosaurus Rex have feathers?"
you are suppose to click on the web ad for info, I didn't...but has me wondering what that statement has to do with banking.
Waiting to hear more about Rita...the hurricane not 'lovely Rita the meter maid'...my prayers go to all the people in harms way in and near Galbeston. It is still early afternoon, so I will go out for a walk around the corner to the mailbox...Enjoy the Autumn season.

I wanted to write a quick note today before it's tomorrow. Nothing exciting happened around here...and that is good. I watched ER, I forgot how handsome "Luca" was...sigh...lol
If you want to hear 45 seconds of Trees by Marty Casey go to www.lovehammers.com
click on Enter and then La Demos...and enjoy. I tried so very hard to make a sub-account for my email and all I ended up with is trouble, I don't know why I even try to do computer things, it is such a waste of my time. lol Chatted with Mr. D today and I was amazed we talked for 4 plus hours and it went by in a flash. I really needed some laughter so I felt good after we signed off.
Last night I dreamt I was still in high school and my Aunt L asked me if I was going on to college, I said "no", and she told me "do you want to sew burlap sacks the rest of your life?" I said "no" she said "if you go to college and do good maybe they will name the college after you" I was thinking wow...that is a good deal...then I woke up. Weird dream...I wonder sometimes where dreams come from. People, leave me a comment about anything....thanks Happy Trails.

Yesterday afternoon we had a terrible thunder and lightening storm here. I never heard thunder that loud before, many times it rattled the windows, and the lightening bolts were long many times hitting the ground. One woman about a mile from our house was hit by lightening as she walked on the sidewalk. She was not under any trees, it just struck her. She is currently in very serious condition. Lightening also hit a 60 foot cypress tree in the same area and it burnt to the ground, a few other trees and houses were also hit. It was wild and crazy weather. Today it is sunny and calm, like none of that stuff really happened.
After watching INXS for 12 weeks I was so upset last night when Marty Casey was runner up...
maybe I am just a good winner and a sore loser...but when his name was not announced as the winner I actually felt dizzy. What is wrong with those idiots...today I got to thinking maybe it is ok...Marty was offered a job as warm up singer for their coming world tour, this will let him do his own music his way and not compromise to INXS...and hopefully he will record Trees soon...and become a rock star in his own right. He is so unique and so dang handsome. He took the news of his loss far better then I did...Cheers to you Marty!!!
I woke up this morning and my hands were shaking...maybe it had something to do with the events of the day before, I don't know. It took to about 11AM to feel better. I went to see Uncle L today and then ate at Taco Bell...it was a nice afternoon. LOST is on later tonight, I hope we see it here and the show is not interrupted by this news about the jet with landing gear trouble...
hey if bad things are going to happen, don't do it on MY tv night...there are 6 other nights for that! I hope it ends alright...and I hope it ends before 9pm pst.

I love this picture, someone forwarded to me, it is called Smiley Cat.
I watched the Emmy's last night, all 3 hours.
I was disappointed that Narveen Andrews did not win Best Actor in a Drama Series....he is the best. The only reason William Shatner won is that he is Captain Kirk!!! LOST did win Best Series....hurray.
I went to the grocery story today but did not shop, I think there were a million cars in the parking lot...
I don't have any idea why, I couldn't find a parking space so headed in another direction and did other things. Now I wonder if maybe there was celebrity in the store and I missed all that? Today it is about 90 degrees...I guess because it is hotter, and I'm a little stupid...ok a lot stupid...I did some yard work in the
hot sun...just like a 'mad dog or an Englishman' I guess. But I did accomplish something...
Sayid....you are the greatest and the cutest!!

Trying to keep myself occupied today... I peaked at the 49'ers game on tv for awhile this morning...they were losing by so much, I could not bear to watch the entire game. I found a old plastic bottle of bubble making suds, or whatever you call the stuff, and blew bubbles for awhile,
I tried to find the complete lyrics to "my dog has fleas, they bite his knees" on the internet and had so luck, I finished reading "Summons" I watched a old I Love Lucy show about the Ricardos and Mertzes going together to buy a cafe...and before it ended the crappy station broke away for a baseball game, now I will never know how their joint venture ended. I added a paragraph or two to a snail mail I'm writing, I tried to IM a couple friends but they were not online.. I searched for the lyrics to Trees by Marty Casey...in other words I am bored silly today and don't know what else to do to entertain myself. At least tonight is the Emmy's, hope that won't be boring...Ellen Degereres is usually funny and she is the host. Hope this coming week I can feel more in the groove and do some things that I haven't felt like doing. That is all folks!

I just read that on September 10, 2005 a benefit concert was held in Ventura, California for Mason a victim of Hurricane Katrina. Mason was trapped in a tree for 2 days in Louisiana while flood waters surrounded him. All he had was a flashlight and the clothes on his back. He was finally rescued by helicopter...his entire family, wife and kids are missing. He is staying with Jimmie Wallet, the man who lost his own wife and family in the LaConchita mudslide in January of this year. That is so touching, so wonderful...what a inspiration Jimmie Wallet is to us all.
His concern and gesture makes me feel so worthless right now, I am not even one tenth of the person he is. It makes me rethink my priorities...Jimmie should be recognized some way some how by our government....but you know he won't be, because he is not part of the "establishment"...no he is a whole lot better than them. God love you Jimmie and Jazzy.

I am going to use some pretty bad words soon....my computer is giving me more problems!! Now I lost Media Player...the icon is on the desktop, but nothing happens when I click it. I tried to restore it twice already and "nada" Also I keep getting a stinky pop up that I can not remove unless I shut off the computer. Help!!! Why do computers cause so many problems?
I heard SA is in the hospital, he is LA's son who was hospitalized several months ago, and JJ is going to hospital for surgery...when it rains it pours. I watched Survivor tonight, I think this might be a good season for it. The OC was sooooo boring it almost put me to sleep...what is happening to that show, are they running out of story lines? I hope it gets back on track.
Not much else to report...this blog will put you to sleep, why do I worry about the OC doing it?
I am still looking for Mars, but guess it will be Oct when we can see it good. I haven't seen it yet, but hey, they moon sure looks pretty these nights. The moon is full...you know what that means? All "us" crazies are out....lol

Another nice day here, at least weather wise. I went to the grocery store today and I had a envelope in my purse to mail to State Farm Insurance. When I got to my car I put the bags of groceries in my trunk, looked in my purse for the envelope and it was gone!!! My heart skipped a beat or two. I went back inside the grocery store and asked the clerk if she saw an envelope...
she had a bag-girl check the aisles as I looked in front of the store. I went back inside and spotted it on the floor of the check out stand where I was standing in line before. The envelope was turned upside down and looked like a plain old piece of paper. I was sure glad I found it...I already was worried about doing a stop payment on the check etc. The worst part is before I went in the store, I thought to myself, 'you'd better mail the envelope first' but as usual I do not listen to the advice I give myself. Sylvia Brown was on Motel today and what she says and what I have experienced myself with RAD I just feel for sure I have had encounters with him since he passed and it is not just my mind playing tricks on me. That gives me comfort, I believe there is a afterlife, and I believe in reincarnation, and I don't believe in coincidences, everything happens for a purpose. More serious thinking blogs to follow....lol

Maybe I just have to get used to the lousy connection I get from SBC Global? All their advice about how to fix my disconnection problem doesn't work...so what is the next step? Maybe I'll call the phone company tomorrow and have them check my line, I did that once before and they claim the lines are ok. Oi Vey!! Anyhow today was uneventful, R didn't phone so R didn't have a chance to call the cops and tell them I am not answering my phone. It would be so amusing to me if R actually did that and the police went and gave R the 3rd degree. I wanted to trim my rose bush this afternoon and could not find my clippers. I searched the front yard, back yard, garage...for at least 20 minutes, finally located it where it didn't belong in the garage. I don't know how or why that rose bush grows so fast since I hardly ever water it. Weather was nice today, wonder how long it will last and if we hit the 100's again? I certainly hope not. Saw on news where the penguins that were at the New Orleans zoo received temporary housing at the Monterey Bay aquarium. Cute little fellows all dressed up in their tuxedos...the leader of the pack is 20 years old. I never knew penguins got that old. INXS is on tonight...a must see for me...everyone vote for Marty, ok? He has to win...thanx

I crawled out of my turtle shell today...just in time. Like I said earlier I did not answer the phone all weekend, I had the answering machine on to do that work for me. I was really depressed and worried about finances, so didn't feel like talking to anyone. Especially to people who have adding to my grief. So this morning R called, "Good thing you answered your phone" R said "if you didn't answer it I was going to call the police and have them come to the house" This from a person who doesn't care if I even exist!! What the hell is going on here, is there a law I have to answer the phone at R's demand? If R ever calls the cops on me...you will hear the yelling from your place, I never heard of such a thing! Yes, I always have something to complain about. I trimmed the white rose bush this morning to let off steam, then took a little drive.
Tell me, can oil come out of the tailpipe of my car or did the oil come from some other location?
This has me puzzled. The owners of the sold house across the street put their unwanted items on the curb to be picked up by the city. The city picks up large items/trash every 3 months or so. Anyhow they put out this perfectly good wooden office desk, it had all the drawers etc.
I looked at it for awhile from my kitchen window, I was about to call MV and ask him if he needed a desk, a person could sell it for at least $20 at a yard sale, just as I was about to make my move a pickup truck came down the street, spotted the desk, put his truck in reverse, went back and took the desk. I am always a 'day late and a dollar short'. So how was your day?

I watched The English Patient on the telly, it is a good 2 boxes of Kleenex movie, not to mention Narveen Andrews plays Kip in it. Did I tell you am a huge Narveen Andrews fan? I love him as Sayid on LOST, he is so handsome, his eyes are a mirror to his soul, I never seen any guy with eyes like that. Sigh. Pending Sale, that is what the sign says on the house across the street. Wonder who the new neighbors will be? My internet connection was slow as molasses yesterday. I should call SBC for help, but when I have problems that overwhelms me I tend to run away from them. I know that is not good, but it is me. Had a nice chat with DQ, we discussed old saying like: you can't teach an old dog new tricks, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink, don't buy a pig in a poke....stuff like that. He had a notebook and was writing things down. I asked him if he was a cop now, writing down everything I say. He told be he wanted to keep a list of expressions from different countries.
Yesterday I got a letter from DL, 9 legal size pages written on both sides, it is a "keeper" I think it is one of the best letters I ever received. It was about ordinary day to day things, but what a difference it is to read these thoughts on paper rather than hear it over the telephone or read them in a hastily written email. We need to write snail mail letters to each other more often, not just at Christmas time. A letter you can read and reread and know that the sender put a lot of thought and effort into his words. You will find me waiting by my mailbox.

Does anyone remember the war in Iraq and the innocent people dying there? I don't see much about that on the news anymore. Does anyone remember La Conchita mudslide and the victims who still have not received money or shelter from our government? Let us not forget.
I didn't do anything all day and haven't answered the phone...I am trying hard to refocus. I am feeling a little better but still not the way I should be feeling. J from Louisiana sent me a email and J is staying with friends in Virginia now, still not knowing if their house survived Hurricane Katrina. The mailbox is usually just a place to find bills, catalogs and magazines, but today I found a nice long letter from MP in Australia also inside the envelope were some family photos. I immersed myself in M's letter and it made me smile.

I will move forward and march like the penguins!! I am feeling a heck of a lot better today.
Went to the gas station, paid $3.03 a gallon for regular/self-serve. I thought it would be cheaper than that, since prices tend to go down after a holiday weekend... What surprised me more was at the grocery store, I paid $1.17 for a 3 ounce package of Philadelphia Orignial Cream Cheese!!!
The checker saw the price come up on her register and said "that can't be right" so she went and checked the price herself...it was right. "It sounds awfully high" she said, to which I nodded in agreement. Since I already held up the line I bought it...but why should it be so expensive? Is there a sudden cheese shortage we don't know about? Should we start stocking up on cheese? Sad about the death of Bob Denver.., he always made me laugh...Good Bye Good Buddy!!
Speaking of penguins, I was thinking a doing another kids cartoon/story book just for our family's amusement. Last year I wrote about Penny Penguin and sketched my own cartoons to go with the story. Now I want to go international. I thought of Pengilly the Irish penguin and Penguido the Italian one...help me come up with other foreign penguins...thanks. Thanks.

Sitting in front of the computer screen, flooded by an avalanche of disjointed thoughts. The last few days have been like a roller coaster ride, I experienced a full gamut of emotions, frustration, happiness, depression, love, fear, and the worst of all loneliness. I feel like I am drowning and there is no one who is willing to help me. I always hid my loneliness well but apparently not today. Not being in the presence of another person sucks! I would rather be anywhere then here. I wish I was a turtle, so I can duck inside my shell and stay there forever. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy and carefree. Where is my life going...forward...backward..nowhere? Sometimes I see the future that I want but I know I will never get in this lifetime. Problems big or small overwhelm me, today I don't think I can fight my way out of a paper bag. I am drained of all energy, all logic, all hope. What I need is a hug, someone who would share my burdens, just for a little while. Is that to much to ask for? I want to be with one person for the rest of my life, a best friend, a companion, a lover. Someone who understands me, supports and inspires me, and accepts all my damn flaws. I don't want to be alone...but that is my fate. I wonder how long I can go on like this?

RAD passed away 3+ years ago, and now and then there have had "signs" from him. It has been awhile and all weekend I have been thinking of him and saying R if you are still around me send me a sign. Early this morning all by itself my answering machine came on, and I heard my outgoing message, and then it clicked off. Coincidence? No way! Thanks baby...je vous aime !!
I have a list of strange occurrences that have happened since his passing, one day I will list them in my blog. He is my soul mate and I know we have known each other for lifetimes and will meet again.
This has been a quiet Monday, I chatted with Doha again and he made me laugh until I had tears rolling down my cheeks. Sometimes he doesn't know he is funny and that makes it even funnier.
SJ emailed again....dang it, just when I thought I was rid of the "energy zapper" RS is back from the mountains. R got 2 mosquito bites and is already looking up West Nile symptoms on the net. I know the feeling, when I got bit I didn't even think about goggling West Nile...I just figured I met my demise, and it was a lowly mosquito that did away with me. But I survived. lol

I wish I was a turtle so I could duck inside my shell until all my problems are over!! I don't want to go into details here, as that will make me even more depressed. Just believe me when I say my problems are plentiful and I constantly worry. With that said....on to other things. I watched Saturday Night Fever today, haven't seen it in a long time and enjoyed it, especially seeing a young John Travolta. I also watched Whale Rider on PBS, it was excellent I highly recommend it. That is how I spent my day...I was sooo bored, I took a nap! Fell asleep before I knew it, that doesn't happen often. Tried to get help from SBC Global to fix my internet connection, as I keep getting disconnected, but their help was totally useless. I don't know what to do next...it is furstrating. Stupid computers, sometimes I wish they were never invented and the cell phones. Life was so much simpler way back then...a person could go hide out without a cell phone keeping you in constant contact with the people you want to run away from. And answering machines, wasn't it better NOT knowing about the calls you missed, so you didn't have to do anything about them, and fax machines, once you had to wait at least 24 hours for information to arrive via mail or whatever, why are we in such a hurry to get documents we are better off without? The world is moving to fast....and I want to get off.

I just stole this idea from another blog, who lifted it from another blogger. What are my all time favorite songs? For about 5 minutes I gave it some serious thought, and this is what I came up with:
Smooth, Robb Thomas * Time in a Bottle, Jim Croce * Sunshine on My Shoulder, John Denver * Lawdy Miss Clawdy, Elvis * Picture, Kidd Rock & Cheryl Crowe * Look What You've Done, Jett* Stardust, Willie Nelson * Jet Plane, John Denver * Home, Marc Bershard * Satisfaction, Rolling Stones * Layla, Eric Clapton * Lady, Lenny Kervitz * Knocking on Heaven's Door, Bob Dylan * I Want to Rock and Roll All Night, Kiss, Imagine, John Lennon* I Alone, Pink Floyd * Misty, Johnny Mathis * How Sweet It Is, James Taylor *Coming into Los Angels, Arlo Guthrie* and Moonlight Serenade (musical version), Glenn Miller.
Well what do you think? Does music give you any clues to who I really am? Anyhow that is my list as of today. What do you like? Comments are welcomed.

Welcome Readers....all 2 of you!!! lol I wonder what the "Burners" are doing at Burning Man tonight? Wish I could get away from here. Gas is nearly $3.00 a gallon here, lucky if I can drive the car around the block. I live on a fairly busy street and I have noticed the number of cars that pass my house has decreased dramaically. I had to stop watching the Katrina news, the videos can send a depressed person over the edge. I have no plans for Labor Day weekend, I refuse to do any labor...lol R is up at the mountains, and gave me instructions what I should do while R is away...like all R's responsibilities, so R's conscience is clear. Yeah, right! AllThese Things That I've Done by The Killers, ..."I've got soul but I'm not a soldier".. for some reason those words are stuck in my head. Ever get a song in your head and sing just a tiny part of it all day until it drives you crazy? That's what I've been doing right now. See ya all tomorrow "Inshallah"...yep I had another Arabic lesson today.

• Abu and Om I have changed my name to Azhar-Zahrah
• I guess you know who I chatted with today....lol I cruised around for gas today and the cheapest I located was $2.99 a gallon. I ask you how can gas prices in California go up 30 cents overnight?