Nothing 4 Nothing

101 degrees. News said this was our hottest July ever recorded. My internet connection was bad yesterday, kept disconnecting me so often, then a message came up for me to report the error to the server. I did, this morning when I signed on, I got a message my dial up numbers were deleted and I had to select new ones. My computer would not let me do that task easily so I am frustrated. I felt really depressed today, it took everything I had to get myself up and out of bed. I planned to do some things today but physically and emotionally I can not do anything, it is a big deal that I am typing this entry. I wish I knew what was wrong. I think it is because I feel so all alone, and problems mount and I can not see any solutions, it is very difficult for me to make all the decisions by myself. No one on earth knows how desperate I feel deep down inside me, how much stress and worry I carry within myself...they don't want to know....because no one cares. They are happy in their own lives and that is all that matters to them. Maybe I will just stop pretending to everyone that I am fine and show my real self? I need a hug......